I'll always hate you for that

Together we scrambled

To make it through

We were chased across

A hot stone bridge

O’er pools of lava

I cried when it burned my feet

You just ran faster

Every girl for herself

I can’t blame you for running

But I will for pushing me back behind you

I think you thought

Only one of us was allowed to make it

So you sabotaged and sabotaged

But this confounds the memories

Of quiet saturday mornings

When you’d get me granola bars

And we’d rot before the TV

For hours

In a silent truce

Because even the redcoats paused for Christmas

Look where that got them.

You were barely school-age

So I get that you did your best, but

You continued to fight

And claw

And blame me

Not them

And, I’ll always hate you for that

I tried to love you

But you can’t let me

Because you need them

Not me

And who else is there to blame?

So you choose them over me

Even though I fought for you

You always choose them

Despite your age-old flowery promises

Of sunrises in Maine

And rural evening stars

You never chose me

If there was another option to be had

You left and I celebrated

Because I refuse to ask anything more of you

Than the animosity I once tried to heal

You never chose me

You beat me with my olive branch

We’re so many years past

And a thousand miles apart

But

You still won’t choose me

And, I’ll always hate you for that